Gisa's space
Monday, November 12, 2007
Rosa E. Paulino
Giselle Nascimento
Lurdes Ruela
November 11, 2007
Cell-phone Assignment #2
Professor Sotillo
A Field Study on Language and Relationships
When it comes to breaking off relationships, which gender would use language that is more direct, males or females? Do factors such as age or ethnicity influence the way language is used to break off relationships? According to Eckerd from Language and Gender, “Women are considered more cooperative and supportive when it comes to a conversation” (122). On the other hand, according to Bauer & Trudgill from Language and Myths “Men generally talk more in formal, public contexts where informative and persuasive talk is highly valued” (49). We hypothesize if women are better when it comes to dealing with intimacy; then we predict women will also use direct language when ending a commitment. Females might address the relationship issues face to face, whereas men might use indirect language and actions.
This study will analyze the difference in language use among males and females when ending a relationship. We collected data with the use of questionnaires that address the language and actions people used when breaking off relationships. (Refer to Figure 1 below.) The individuals surveyed had to recall their past romantic relationships, and answer questions regarding characteristics of the relationship prior to its decline. They also had to recall feelings during the disengaging period, and strategies used to disengage the relationship. Facts such as age, ethnicity, and field of expertise were collected to help us infer the linguistic differences of different backgrounds.
After interviewing 84 people -19 males and 19 females of the 15-18 age cohort, 19 males and 19 females of the 25-36 age, and 4 males and 4 females of the 46+ age cohort- our results demonstrate that the actions of females are very direct when addressing the issues of the relationship. However, females’ language usage is more indirect or less honest, when it comes to actually breaking off the commitment because they do not desire to hurt their partners’ feelings. For instance, women would actually go for a more passive approach stating, “We should be friends,” whereas, males would state “It is you, not me.” Many males never bothered to explain their decision when they faced their partner. Others took distant measures such as phone calls, text messages or online instant messages. Some never even bothered officially to end the relationship and just avoided their partner all together. Women, on the contrary, chose a straightforward approach when officially ending their relationship.
Most people did not have specific lines for breaking off “meanly.” However, women from the age group 15-25, resorted to drastic measures such as breaking their partner’s cell phones, having other men pretend to be their boyfriends and harass their previous partner or simply ignoring them all together. The harshest measures men from the age group 15-25 have taken were cursing their partner out, cheating on their partner and distancing themselves from the situation. There was a correlation between male and females between the ages of 26-45. In our studies, we concluded that middle-aged individuals moved on with their lives and overlooked the relationship in general. They admitted to avoiding calls and ignoring their partner once they believed it was over. We noticed that this age group is more rational and at ease when breaking off a relationship. Our 46 and older female participants stated that our surveys were irrelevant to their age group. Some claimed to have been married for so long. Others stated that they did not remember that far back. Our 46 and older male participants were more willing to contribute responses. We found a pattern with the males of this group. They were generally honest and clear-cut in addressing commitment issues.
Males have mixed opinions about which gender is meaner; on the other hand, females admitted being the “meanest” gender when breaking off relationships. This result indicates that females are more honest about their actions. Eckert adds, “When it comes to fighting, males argue, females quarrel and tend to engage in hot tempered speech” (141). We conclude that most female actions are more dramatic than males when ending a relationship.
We discovered a surprising pattern with ethnicity. White American and African American females are harsher than Hispanic and Asian females when they break up in a mean way. White American and African American females resolve issues with more assertive and confrontational language; however, African American females’ language usage comes off very abrupt and crude. Hispanic and Asian females tend to use coded language, using excuses to mask their real feelings. Surprisingly, our data did not show much of a difference in language usage with coloration to the masculine gender.
This field study was a very educational experience. The task of interviewing 84 people was hard, meanwhile analyzing such a great amount of responses required patience and diligence. After all that work, the toughest part was discovering that our hypothesis about both men and women was partially disproved. We found that women are better at confronting commitment issues; however, women do not use direct language in the process. They tend to over think the situation, sugarcoating words in order not to hurt their partner’s feelings. When it came to language usage, men were very abrupt and direct, yet the majority of men preferred to avoid a confrontation with their partner altogether. We can infer from our observations that language usage completely differs between men and women as a whole; however, our results were not meant to stereotype every individual. Society creates presumptions on how men and women behave, and sometimes it is not always true. Males and females behave directly or indirectly according to certain contexts. We constantly strive to obtain our own individuality, yet society has always found a way to categorize us. Society’s stereotypical generalizations on gender fuel the ongoing debate on today’s gender issues.
Figure 1: We randomly handed out this survey.
Figure 2: This chart has categorized direct and indirect speech in the two different circumstances: breaking off by avoidance or in person.
Figure 3
Figure 4
Figure 3 & 4: The charts display public opinion on gender and age groups when it came to breaking off a relationship
Bibliography:
1. Bauer, Laurie and Trudgill, Peter. Language Myths. New York, NY: Penguin, 1998.
2. Eckert, Penelope and Ginet, Sally. Language and Gender. New York, NY: Cambridge, 2003
Giselle Nascimento
Lurdes Ruela
November 11, 2007
Cell-phone Assignment #2
Professor Sotillo
A Field Study on Language and Relationships
When it comes to breaking off relationships, which gender would use language that is more direct, males or females? Do factors such as age or ethnicity influence the way language is used to break off relationships? According to Eckerd from Language and Gender, “Women are considered more cooperative and supportive when it comes to a conversation” (122). On the other hand, according to Bauer & Trudgill from Language and Myths “Men generally talk more in formal, public contexts where informative and persuasive talk is highly valued” (49). We hypothesize if women are better when it comes to dealing with intimacy; then we predict women will also use direct language when ending a commitment. Females might address the relationship issues face to face, whereas men might use indirect language and actions.
This study will analyze the difference in language use among males and females when ending a relationship. We collected data with the use of questionnaires that address the language and actions people used when breaking off relationships. (Refer to Figure 1 below.) The individuals surveyed had to recall their past romantic relationships, and answer questions regarding characteristics of the relationship prior to its decline. They also had to recall feelings during the disengaging period, and strategies used to disengage the relationship. Facts such as age, ethnicity, and field of expertise were collected to help us infer the linguistic differences of different backgrounds.
After interviewing 84 people -19 males and 19 females of the 15-18 age cohort, 19 males and 19 females of the 25-36 age, and 4 males and 4 females of the 46+ age cohort- our results demonstrate that the actions of females are very direct when addressing the issues of the relationship. However, females’ language usage is more indirect or less honest, when it comes to actually breaking off the commitment because they do not desire to hurt their partners’ feelings. For instance, women would actually go for a more passive approach stating, “We should be friends,” whereas, males would state “It is you, not me.” Many males never bothered to explain their decision when they faced their partner. Others took distant measures such as phone calls, text messages or online instant messages. Some never even bothered officially to end the relationship and just avoided their partner all together. Women, on the contrary, chose a straightforward approach when officially ending their relationship.
Most people did not have specific lines for breaking off “meanly.” However, women from the age group 15-25, resorted to drastic measures such as breaking their partner’s cell phones, having other men pretend to be their boyfriends and harass their previous partner or simply ignoring them all together. The harshest measures men from the age group 15-25 have taken were cursing their partner out, cheating on their partner and distancing themselves from the situation. There was a correlation between male and females between the ages of 26-45. In our studies, we concluded that middle-aged individuals moved on with their lives and overlooked the relationship in general. They admitted to avoiding calls and ignoring their partner once they believed it was over. We noticed that this age group is more rational and at ease when breaking off a relationship. Our 46 and older female participants stated that our surveys were irrelevant to their age group. Some claimed to have been married for so long. Others stated that they did not remember that far back. Our 46 and older male participants were more willing to contribute responses. We found a pattern with the males of this group. They were generally honest and clear-cut in addressing commitment issues.
Males have mixed opinions about which gender is meaner; on the other hand, females admitted being the “meanest” gender when breaking off relationships. This result indicates that females are more honest about their actions. Eckert adds, “When it comes to fighting, males argue, females quarrel and tend to engage in hot tempered speech” (141). We conclude that most female actions are more dramatic than males when ending a relationship.
We discovered a surprising pattern with ethnicity. White American and African American females are harsher than Hispanic and Asian females when they break up in a mean way. White American and African American females resolve issues with more assertive and confrontational language; however, African American females’ language usage comes off very abrupt and crude. Hispanic and Asian females tend to use coded language, using excuses to mask their real feelings. Surprisingly, our data did not show much of a difference in language usage with coloration to the masculine gender.
This field study was a very educational experience. The task of interviewing 84 people was hard, meanwhile analyzing such a great amount of responses required patience and diligence. After all that work, the toughest part was discovering that our hypothesis about both men and women was partially disproved. We found that women are better at confronting commitment issues; however, women do not use direct language in the process. They tend to over think the situation, sugarcoating words in order not to hurt their partner’s feelings. When it came to language usage, men were very abrupt and direct, yet the majority of men preferred to avoid a confrontation with their partner altogether. We can infer from our observations that language usage completely differs between men and women as a whole; however, our results were not meant to stereotype every individual. Society creates presumptions on how men and women behave, and sometimes it is not always true. Males and females behave directly or indirectly according to certain contexts. We constantly strive to obtain our own individuality, yet society has always found a way to categorize us. Society’s stereotypical generalizations on gender fuel the ongoing debate on today’s gender issues.
Figure 1: We randomly handed out this survey.
Figure 2: This chart has categorized direct and indirect speech in the two different circumstances: breaking off by avoidance or in person.
Figure 3
Figure 4
Figure 3 & 4: The charts display public opinion on gender and age groups when it came to breaking off a relationship
Bibliography:
1. Bauer, Laurie and Trudgill, Peter. Language Myths. New York, NY: Penguin, 1998.
2. Eckert, Penelope and Ginet, Sally. Language and Gender. New York, NY: Cambridge, 2003
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